Like the past six months, today was also the same day for Adrian. He drove again 10 km away from his home to visit the same person who lives in a dark room with not a single ray of light, always covered with a blanket no matter what is the weather outside. An uncommon attire from where you can only see the eyes blinking, as if no other body part is alive inside. He had the same 5 min conversation with this person and asked the same questions again, “Please tell me did you see her? Did you saved her? At least just tell me did she tell anything about me? How can you be so rude? You know very well I am continuously coming here to ask the same questions that only you can answer. On one hand you tell me that you saved every single being from that tragedy, yet you don’t tell me about my love, my life. But still I will not give up. I will come again and again for my love”.
The war on the inside
So my today’s post is about my mix and match feelings about some random thoughts and experiences. It might get gloomy. And I got lucky that today’s daily prompt is ‘Expect’. It goes well with this one.
So why do we always expect that someone will understand even our unspoken words just by looking at our face. It’s not always true and not practical too. There are no mind readers. There are just observers, some who has some interest in your life, and some who doesn’t. It’s us only who create our own heartbreaks through expectations. And then we use that line in our life, “It’s not all about what you do, sometimes it’s about what you don’t do.” We all are aware of the fact that expectations leads to disappointment. Yet we continue to expect and expect. Well, it’s kind of human nature. Mostly what screws us up in our Life is the sweet picture in our head of how things supposed to be.
So I realised something today and give myself a piece of advice, never listen to sad music when you are already in blue. It increases the level of sadness and the most important thing, it aids in imagining even worse situation related to the circumstances. But generally what we do is to listen some sad music whenever we are sad. It will help in persisting the same feeling but will not teach how to deal with it. Somehow we like to increase the intensity of our pain in that particular moment to make us believe that, yes, we are in pain. We are responsible for our inside war.
Talking about pain, misery, agony, etc etc, there are a whole lot of reasons for that, some are genuine, some are being forced to be a reason for our pain. Even the smallest reason is sufficient enough to make us emotionally tortured if we are already low. Let’s take an example of change. It’s a very nice custom to be followed in our life. But as one of my dear friend said, “change is good until unless we are not evolving”.
So what I was going to say is sometimes the changes around us give us the pain while accepting it. Obviously, some things will change, circumstances will change, some changes we like because it fits with our own modification, our own shift. Some we don’t as it doesn’t goes hand in hand with us. Initially they look quite amiable because everyone is fascinated in something new but later on, we realized that this change, this shift is not for us. This is where it starts hurting as there is no on spot going back situation. It will take it’s time to go back.
So things are there as it happened to be. It’s just that we are not accepting it.
Truths and lies, antonyms of each other, yet both can serve the same purpose of pain. You must have heard people saying, “I can’t lie to my dear ones because I care for them”. And here comes just the contradictory line, “I can’t tell the truth to my dear ones because I care for them”. So we are both virtuous as well as liars for our dear ones. But what I believe is don’t lie because the person who believes in your lies are the one who believes in you. Have you ever noticed how adeptly people cover up for their lies? Sometimes it made me laugh. Sometimes I am really impressed because you see, it’s a kind of talent. Not everyone has it. And the plan and approach they used for covering up their lies, their faults are like a sweet knife to which you will attract automatically. They became the pathological liars who started to believe in their own lies. They just deny, deny and deny and then cover it up with more lies. And you, being the believer of their words will continue to trust them until and unless the reality hits you in the face.
So these expectations, these changes, these beautiful lies which hurts us are nothing but the possession which is given to ourselves by our own self. So we can either learn to live with it or we can avoid it. Both are kind of challenging yet everyone is managing to deal with their pain, their inside wars.
Via daily prompt: Expect
Her insight stroke
Her screech is silent,
Yet her mind is potent.
She is soft yet powerful,
Spiritual yet practical.
She is strong and full of fire,
Her passion burned brighter than her fear.
She fell five times,
But stand again eight.
Her life shaken up and changed,
Still looking for all her shattered pieces,
putting them in a single lane
Pretending to be elated,
when her life is a sting, a silent pain.
She never looked shattered and torn,
She is the conqueror of all the battles she won.
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